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The loss of a loved one is an experience that brings on a wide variety of emotions and alters the way one perceives their life. Reminiscing on memories of said loved one then causes conflicting emotional responses such as sadness, anger, and joy. This is something that I have been experiencing ever since my mother died when I was fourteen years old. Over the years I have been trying to find ways to cope with her death and process the wide range of emotions that I have felt and making art has been a method that I have found effective. However, this process often brings up memories of my mother that have become tainted by my grief. This has led to a conflicting emotional response. I want to preserve these memories of her even though they cause pain because they will deteriorate over time and are something I would rather not lose.  

One of the things I inherited from my mother was her jewelry. She had a large collection and I remember going through it with my family and being allowed to pick out specific pieces that I wanted to keep for myself. Since obtaining this jewelry there are very few pieces that I wear in my everyday life. I am afraid that I will break or lose these items that I view as precious, and in turn lose a piece of my mother. On the rare occasion that I do wear some of her jewelry, it serves as a reminder of her, which if reflected on can cause a change in my emotions.  

This body of work is a representation of the pain associated with my memories of my mother and my desire to protect them in spite of this. I have recreated a number of pieces of her jewelry out of rusted steel wool, iron wire, and in one piece resin and butterfly wings. The materials I use for these pieces work together to embody both the joy and pain surrounding precious memories and a desire to preserve them. I chose steel wool as my main material because I feel that it is an interesting way to physically represent the emotional pain that I have experienced since my mother’s death. Similar to the steel wool, butterfly wings have an ephemeral quality; over time they will decay. However, unlike the steel wool, the act of encasing the butterfly wings in a permanent material like resin demonstrates my desire to preserve the purity and happiness associated with memories of my mother. I chose to rust the steel wool in order to alter its structural integrity make the material decay more quickly. Through this process, I am alluding to the deterioration of the sadness and pain that I associate with memories of my mother. I believe that while my main inspiration for this work is something a lot of people experience in life; my choice of material offers a unique perspective on what the grieving process can be like for different people.